Can we be honest with each other? 2020 has been just awful. This year has been totally defined by division, separation, and isolation. Not to be the naive optimist, but I believe that wherever there’s turmoil, we can find the seeds of growth. In isolation, so many people have found themselves this year and come
How to talk to trans people: a guide to having good discussions without putting your foot in your mouth.
I help to run a trans education group that is home to over 40,000 members. The group is an experiment. Can calm education help us to overcome trans antagonism, ignorance, and phobic behaviors? Can we make the world a better place by talking with one another, even in some small way? A lot of the
You weren’t expecting this news. What do you do now?
Folks love to ask trans people about two topics: sex and gender. Sometimes they’re genuinely curious about the differences between these things and what those mean. Sometimes they’re trying to catch us in an elaborate rhetorical trap wherein we either admit that gender is fake, admit we have some crazy ideas about sex, or admit
Being called “brave” is incredibly high on the “pet peeves” list of almost every trans person I know. Here’s what to say instead.
Hi there! Normally I write about very personal topics to the transgender experience. I like to write about the things I do as a trans person, the things I feel, and why those are so important and sacred to me. If I can teach cisgender folks something while I do that, well, that’s awesome!
One of the most common questions that friendly people ask me as a trans person is about themselves: “How can I help?” “How do I be a good ally?” “Should I do…?” Sometimes these questions come from a place of fear. Folks have been taught to be afraid of me as a trans person. They
One of the most common themes in questions I get asked by folks is on the nature of dysphoria. How do you know your body is wrong? What does that feel like? Communicating such a mental pain is really difficult so we reach for metaphors that hopefully can summon that particular misery, or some approximation